Next      Back

Jing's Magazine(April 24, 2002)

I just want to keep my promise to promote this website: http://www.qeko.com
This is a website to do English exercises.

1. Fine
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. Incidentally, never use the word "fine" to describe how she looks. It will lead to one of the arguments mentioned above.

2. Five minutes
These words actually mean half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the garbage, so women feel that it's an even trade.

3. Nothing
The word "nothing" means something and you should be on your guard immediately on hearing it uttered. It is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards."Nothing" is signal for an argument that will last "five minutes" and end with the word "fine."

4. Go Ahead (Raised eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with raised eyebrows, it actually means the opposite. The words "go ahead" are not permission to do something; on the contrary it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "fine."

5. Go Ahead (Normal eyebrow)
Said in conjunction with normal eyebrows, it should not be confused with the granting of permission either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." It normally precedes by a few seconds a raised eyebrow and the words "go ahead," followed by "nothing" and "fine." She will speak to you again in about "five minutes" when she cools off.

6. Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but it is an important form of communication between a man and woman. It is also very frequently misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "nothing!"

7. Soft Sigh
Again, not a word, but a statement. "Soft sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.

8. Oh
This word followed by any statement -- heralds big trouble. For example, "Oh, I spoke to him about what you were up to last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, just run-do not walk. She will tell you that she is "fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days.

9. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's okay" is often used in conjunction with the word "fine" and a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." Don't be fooled, once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. Please Do
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's okay."

11. Thanks
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. Thanks A Lot
"Thanks a lot" is dramatically different from "thanks." A woman will say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "loud sigh."This signifies that you have hurt her in some way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh," as she will only tell you "nothing."

A good hard disk should be stable and it is enough large to store files. The first hard disk wasn't stable, so I couldn't use it in my computer no matter how much I liked it before. Then I had the second hard disk. At first it was good. As time went by, it became very ordinary. Due to a little problem, I decided to give up using it because I thought this hard disk wasn't fit to my computer.
However, later I found that although there were other hard disks, but they all had some problems to run. Until now I realized that the second hard disk was fine. Maybe it just need to be fixed a little bit. I forgot where I put it, and I just wanted to find it back.
有了比较后才知道，2002年4月23日的晚上特别挂住我的第二个硬盘，可惜我已弄丢了，虽然还能找得到，不过还是算了。This is not my personality. 不知道也没有关系，我只想讲一句对不起，可能是我错了。

1. Someone has a very smart parrot. A friend went to his home to see how smart this parrot was. He said to the parrot:"I can speak." The parrot said:"I can speak." Then he said to the parrot:"I can sing." The parrot also said:"I can sing." Finally he smiled at the parrot:"I can fly." The parrot answer:"You are lying."

2. There were three people went to buy the breakfast in a restaurant. The first one said to the boss:"I want an omelette, but no yolk." The second one said:"I want an omelette, but no white." The boss became impatient when the third one wanted to ask for his breakfast. The boss asked impolitely:"How about you?" The third one stammered:"I... I want no shell..."

3. A woman lost temper to her husband in a restaurant. Finally, she cried out:"You are the most shameless person all over the world!" At that time all the people were shocked to look at them. Then her husband said loudly:"Great! Dear, what else did you say to him?"

People always know their own suffering in their down time. However, you ignore that another one is also suffering the same when you feel sad.
We have done so many stupid things, it is not because we are stupid. It is because you love someone too much so that you will betray your own saneness.
Women usually ask for more by words, but they always sacrifice a lot in real.
If you tell some lies for several times, people will regard it as true. However, no matter how many times to say "I love you", the love will not happen due to it.
Sometimes we lose some people who don't care us. Although it is a lose, but you should be glad.

这是一个下岗女工的家，她的家里有两个水瓶。女工很勤劳，也很节俭，平时，只要哪个水瓶没有水了，她总会及时去烧水，把那空着的水瓶注满。女工的家一年四季没有断过开水，可是一家人一年四季都在喝凉开水。
原因是什么？家人每次倒开水的时候，女工总是说：“先喝先前烧的，这是自家花了煤气的，在家不比在单位，有公司出钱，凉了就倒掉。”家人便顺从地喝了凉开水。于是，女工家天天烧开水，天天喝凉开水。
不改变观念就只有天天喝凉开水，哪怕你再勤劳。

**************************************************************